Tag Archives: President

Obama’s An Illegal Alien – His Real Birth Certificate Finally Revealed

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Here we go. Obama’s real birth certificate is finally revealed. He was born in a foreign land in a galaxy far, far, far, far away. That’s why he’s of superior intelligence –and why his uber-detractors appear moronic in comparison. But not even Obama is perfect; he was born to parents who were only moderately telepathic. See, it’s right there on the form, plain as day, near the top -01001001001. And check out his given, middle name -011101101010. Ha, ha, ha! It’s the same as the last name of an infamous inter-galactic gangster who’s wanted in three systems for spice smuggling. And it’s all certified by an android registrar, there at the bottom. And androids don’t lie.

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Obama Kenyan Birth Certificate Forgery

The hard-core birthers –the ones who are mulishly clinging to the belief that Obama was born in Kenya– are now waving  about an obvious forgery of a Kenyan, birth certificate, as proof of their conspiracy theory. Take a look at the so-called document. This is perhaps the first birth certificate I’ve seen that fails to mention any details of the baby –no weight, or race, or time of birth.  Obama’s mother was Caucasian and his father was black, and that certainly would have been recorded, especially in the 1960’s. Thousands of white Europeans were living in Kenya  –a British colony back then. A birth to a mixed-racial couple surely would not have gone unrecorded. But no section for entering race is even provided on the form. And no section is provided for the doctor’s name, signature, or office address. What’s most suspicious is the size of the paper and all the wasted space. Would a birth certificate from that time period would be printed on a full 8.5″ x 11″ sheet? –the document in question is clearly of those dimensions. My own birth certificate is a third that size. The whole point of using small paper is that printed records are traditionally stored in filing cabinets, or boxes, or large books, which take up space. So, the smaller the better. In a single lifetime, or beyond, how many times is an official, government copy of  a birth certificate going to be accessed — once or twice, or never? Searching through a filing cabinet full of 8.5″ x 11″ papers –which are generally stored horizontally –is highly inefficient, unless Kenya’s civil servants are trained to hold their heads tilted to one side for extended periods of time.

P.S.  Every popular conspiracy theory appears to contain the same contradiction. According to the theorists, the powerful conspirators are resourceful enough to orchestrate a grand lie, but not so much when it comes to keeping it a secret. They always leave a trail for the amateurs to follow. Not a very likely scenario.

All the other flaws in this forgery are listed here.

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Elect Sarah Palin To The PTA… And No Further

I once sat through a sales pitch at the airport Holiday Inn that was not much different than being subjected to Sarah Palin’s gloppy spiel. The “seminar” I attended was a on how to get rich quick in real estate. It was free and I was bored. So, it was purely a whim on my part, one that turned into an unintended source of comedy… for me.

Well, many Republicans have speaking styles similar to unctuous and smarmy sales folk. Just watch that self-satisfied git on CNN, Glenn Beck. With his cornball sense of humor and conceited tone, he tells the audience exactly what to think about god and country. For example, when he compared George Bush’s policies on torture to the actions of Batman; The Dark Knight.

The ability to reduce complex political and social issues to over-simplified caricatures seems to be the modus operandi of the Republican Party. Alaska needs a new natural gas pipeline? Well, Sarah Palin says, “God’s will has to be done in unifying people and companies to get that gas line built. So pray for that.”

After listing the basic infrastructural needs of Alaska, the “cop cars, public schools, the roads“,  Palin said, “All that stuff doesn’t do any good if the people of Alaska’s heart isn’t right with god“.

Salesmen and saleswomen often use props to drive their point home. Maybe they’ll present a colored chart or a boring slide show. Not Sarah Plain. She’s got the biggest and cheapest prop of all, the invisible hand of god.

So, at the risk of sounding sexist – I beg you not to elect this dumb broad to office. But if you want to vote for a bitchy, holier-than-thou, empty headed, self-anointed, princess, then go right ahead. If she is elected, the PTA will be shy one vacuous soccer mom. And the White House will be up one nitwit politician. I can hear the laughter of foreign leaders now. Palin doesn’t even understand the basics of the US housing market. How the hell is she going to deal with the rest of the world?

Finally, there’s her policy of teaching creationism in the public schools. One more step toward making American public education the best in the third-world.

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Michael Medved Is A Tool

Over at scienceblogs.com biologist PZ Myers has dumbo Michael Medved in a headlock for commenting on “American DNA” and race, two subjects Medved, obviously, knows nothing about.

Well, I dug through Medved’s archives and found this piece of garbage.

Actually, there’s little chance that atheists will succeed in placing one of their own in the White House at any time in the foreseeable future, and it continues to make powerful sense for voters to shun potential presidents who deny the existence of God. An atheist may be a good person, a good politician, a good family man (or woman), and even a good patriot, but a publicly proclaimed non-believer as president would, for three reasons, be bad for the country.

Chances are that we have already had an atheist president. American politicians bow to religion only out of self-preservation and politeness, anyway. Clinton was seen carrying a bible around at the same time he was in trouble over Monica. George Bush likes to be seen as a religious man, but we all know his actions contradict most Christian tenets.

Abraham Lincoln was a very non-religious man. And George Washington at one point vowed never to attend church again. The founding fathers were mostly deists, which is one step from being atheistic. But who knows what their personal beliefs really were? Atheist was a dirty (dirtier) word back then.

If we read between the lines, what Medved is really saying is that only Christians should be elected to office. The problem is that religious people lie for their faith, and politicians lie to keep their asses in office. Besides, an atheist president couldn’t be any worse than Bush the Christian.

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Contempt For Huckabee The False Prophet

Here’s the most contemptible behavior yet from a presidential candidate – Mike Huckabee dialogues with god on his cell phone. 

If Huckabee had professed to speak to god directly, some people would have been put off. But by cloaking his godliness in a tongue-in-cheek comedy routine he manipulates the crowd into thinking he is close to god without him being too pious about it.     

If politicians continue to behave in this manner, they really should dress up as pastors or priests. Such antics obliterate the line between church and state, which is probably their goal.  

We’re are reminded of a saying by the Ancient Roman philosopher, Seneca.

“Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the ruler as useful”   

The important word here being USEFUL

While listening to his little god talk we felt as if we were watching an episode of Mister Rogers’ Neigborhood or Romper Room. We actually forget for a moment that he was speaking to an audience of adults. Could Huckabee have been more condescending to the American people?

Perhaps it is naive of us to think that good leaders should elevate the people instead of keeping them down.

If there is a Hell, we hope you rot in it, Huckabee.

www.TheDarwinReport.com

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