Tag Archives: Presidential Race 2008

Planet Of The Egotistical Apes

Tarzan, Jane, and Son

By the power invested in me by the natural world, I now pronounce you man and ape. You may kiss the bride. Smootchie! Smootchie! Enjoy the honeymoon.

(According to a recent study chimps are better than humans at short term memory recall.)

Of course, the evolutionary link between human and ape is a major thorn in the ass of creationists. Some are known to actually proclaim, “I ain’t descended from no monkey”. Darwinians reflexively respond with the DNA evidence, which indicates a 98.89% genetic similarity between humans and chimps. Creationists scoff. But I think part of the problem is a lack of perspective on the part of creationists. In chapter 6 of his book, “The Descent of Man”, Charles Darwin wrote about the classification of humans as special. He said:

“If man had not been his own classifier, he would never have thought of founding a separate order for his own reception”

Would space aliens find humans so morphologically and behaviorally distinct from apes? The anatomists of the 19th century, long before the availability of genetic analysis, saw a staggering number of similarities between the greater apes and man. Anatomist T.H. Huxley wrote extensively on the “resemblances and differences in the structure and the development of the brain in man and apes”. He noted:

“[T]hat the difference between the brain of the chimpanzee and of man is almost insignificant, when compared with that between the chimpanzee brain and that of the Lemur [the lower apes].”

The sheer weight of all the evidence, not just one portion of it, drew most 19th century investigators to conclude that man and apes share a common ancestor. But the creationist modus operandi is to isolate and mangle specific data, and to ignore the big picture. However, by posing a ‘what if’ argument we can see that the objections proffered by creationists are emotionally based and ego driven. For instance, would creationists hate evolution as much IF it showed that apes descended from humans instead of the other way round? Under such a scenario the relationship of humans to apes doesn’t sound as objectionable. Human dignity is preserved. Humans remain at the top of creation. Unfortunately, for creationists it ain’t true.

Also, how can the human species be defined objectively? Darwin noted that a distinct classification point would be difficult to establish:

“In a series of forms graduating insensibly from some-ape like creature to man as he now exists, it would be impossible to fix on any definite point when the term ‘man’ ought to be used”

We can see that only by narrowly construing the evidence and ignoring valuable biological comparisons can the creationist perspective survive.




Filed under Evolution

Vote For Huckabee, The Ignorant Troglodyte

Watch the video. It’s horribly sad and terrifying. And it’s set in the 21st century. Presidential candidate Mike Huckabee, who’s actually leading the republican polls, equated believing in evolution with godlessness. Isn’t that a slap in the face of all those who accept modern science and believe in a god? Not that they don’t need slapping. Ha Ha. And wasn’t citizen Huckabee clever when he dodged the question about the age of the Earth? Obviously, he didn’t want to offend the young-Earth creationists and their delicate sensibilities. Not that they don’t need offending.

We’ve decided. We dislike Huckabee, a lot. Many people call him charming and sincere. However, we don’t care about such shallow qualifications. He’s a major hypocrite. He’s happy to use his faith as a campaign tool, but he finds a question on evolution inappropriate. He said:

It’s interesting that that questions would even be asked of someone running for president. I’m not planning on writing the curriculum for an 8th grade science book. I’m asking for the opportunity to be president of the United States.

As a college graduate, if he cannot make a contribution to an 8th grade science text, he’s simply not qualified to be president of the United States. Come on, it’s the 8th grade. We’re also pretty sure that if one of Huckabee’s fellow candidates were an atheist, he would make their lack of faith a disqualifying point. He wants candidates vetted for belief in god, but not belief in science. Such unabashed and shameless creationism stinks of cynicism and callowness.

Many politicians have their fingers on the pulse of America 24/7. What the majority of Americans believe, they believe. They’re mindless opportunists. If Huckabee is a spineless self-seeker, that’s a good reason not to vote for him. On the other hand, if he really believes what he says about evolution, then he’s an anti-intellectual troglodyte, a great reason not to vote for him. His comments on Creation speak volumes:

How did he do it, when did he do it, and how long did he take? I don’t honestly know.

He did it, and that’s what’s important.

Spreading the seeds of apathy is characteristic of the creationist mentality. Don’t ask burdensome questions, just believe. A fine message to be sending to the youth of America. Just what we need, another President who prefers not to ask questions. We get the feeling Huckabee isn’t a big reader either.

From the way he mispronounced the the word “primate”, we think he’s a sincere creationist. We also think he would set America’s educational standards back even farther than they already are, if he were elected. Every time the leadership in Washington even tacitly supports creationism, wackos all over the US take that as a starting signal for their movement to force intelligent design creationism or regular old creationism into the public schools. It’s also pressure for biology teachers to water down the evolution curriculum. A vote for Huckabee is a step backwards in time, to the Dark Ages.





Filed under Atheism, Politics